the things ive become, something is missing

SOME OLD ASS WRITING I AM TRANSFERRING TO MY ONLINE JOURNAL :)

Drugs

You make the walls turn
and the floors speak
you make my hand write
you make my hear seem less weak
you make my mind scary
and my thoughts jumble
you make it spin and mix and run and tumble
you make me smile
and laugh and scream
you make me never wanna wake up from this dream
you're my comatose and im damn proud of it
you make me wanna run around
you make me wanna roll on the ground
you make everything wrong seem alright
you make the world
a more beautiful sight

Oh, young heart brake, I was a cruel one.

When I think of his eyes I no longer see the amazing smokey green hazel. i see blankness, staring out into nowhere, redness from the drugs and the opening to the never ending blank hole that leads to where his brain SHOULD be. When i think of his smile it no longer makes me happy, it makes me look down on him because he is laughing as someone as retarded as her. When I think of his lips I no longer want to kiss them, I think of him spitting out loogies and the way he mostly just had insults towards me tucked behind them. When I think of him, in general, I no longer see my hero, my comedian, my ever-so-interesting friend. All i see is an immature, irresponsible, dependant, coked out loser who has no feelings other than for himself. He doesn't have aloving heart. I pity him, and how he never wants and actual , emotional , caring relationship. He will never experiance love. He will die old and alone. he will have no one to carry on what he is or was. He's just going to die, and everyone will miss the fucked up funny cokehead, but no one will truely feel a missing void in their lives.

One of those days
its one of those days
when you lye in bed depressed
its one of those days
when it all seems to hard, even to get dressed
its one of those days
when no ones your best friend
its one of those days
when you just want it to end
its one of those days
when you dont know whats wrong
its one of those days
that seem so very long
its one of those days
where you toss and turn as you sleep
its one of those days
where all you want to do it weap

Sittin' on a bridge with you

hey you, whats your story?
did you fall to feel pain or did you fall for glory?
what is it you want
what is it you need
lets smoke that good ol summer weed!
lets drink beer down by the bridge
and laugh at everything we never did
old souls and young lust
sharing secrets, growing trust
but hey you, what is your story?
did you fall for pain or was it glory?
lets watch the sunset, I'll hold your hand
hey time to go, i'll help you stand
did he break your heart or did he make it beat?
did you win the battle or admit defeat?

Random blurbs ..could be built off of later? lol

it's one in the morning and you've got something on your brain
does this mean youre insane? ..No. It means youre addicted.

is it a problem when you can't look in your eyes?
is it a problem when your own face feels like a disguise?
Maybe we should all come out of hiding.

E-bay woman

I paint my nails
but you dont notice
i dye my hair
but you dont care
you stomp on my dreams
shake my beliefs
and laugh
why am i so much more serious?
try to have fun with you
but everything I say
Youre not curious
i'm just your play thing
a brand new toy
at first you showed obesession
like a little boy
my paint is flaking off
i'm rusty, but i get the job done
youre just keeping me around
until you find a new one
you cant return me
you can only break me, throw me out
its long past refund date
i'm like a burden, a large weight
im worn out and depressed
your typicial ignored mess
cant you just put me down
cant you just FIX me
please go to the store
IM SICK OF BEING YOUR CHEAP RUSTY WHORE.

Love sure is strange sometimes

YOURE SO ABUSIVE
I WISH THIS WAS NON EXLUSIVE
YOU USED TO LOVE ME
I STILL LOVE YOU
BUT BABE, I JUST DONT KNOW
WHAT TO DO

I JUST DONT KNOW
WHAT I DID
ALMOST 18 AND YOU TREAT ME LIKE A KID
THIS ISNT A POKER GAME
IM NOT PLACING A BET
THERE IS NO BID
I DONT KNOW WHAT I DID

I GAVE YOU MY HEART
I THOUGHT I WAS SMART
TOLD YOU ALL MY ISSUES
YOU WATCHED ME CRY
AND PASSED THE TISSUES

BUT YOURE MORE CRUEL NOW
YOU PLAYED ME LIKE A FOOL
EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS MY FAULT
IM SICK OF THAT FOR AN ANSWER
FOR BEING THE DEFAULT

THIS SONG IS AN OVER REACTION
IM JUST TRYING TO MAKE YOU HATE ME
BUT I THINK ITS PRETTY OBVIOUS
THAT YOY NO LONGER CARE TO DATE ME

ID SHOW YOU THIS
BUT IM KIND OF AFRAID
TO LET YOU INTO MY MIND AGAIN
YOU COULD TWIST THIS AROUND SO FAST
USE IT TO MAKE ME GO INSANE
BUT MOSTLY YOU WOULD JUST RIP ME APART
LIKE A PEICE OF PAPER

SEE ME UPSET AND THEN MAKE ME LAUGH AGAIN
ILL LIGHTEN UP LIKE I ALWAYS DO
A SMILE ON MY FACE
MY TEARY EYES ON MY SHOES
WE KISS
YOU WON THE GAME AGAIN