shoe game nutz i call em' ca$hew$

BEEN DOING GOOD.
Havent eating any crap from my work yet.
Everyone at my work calls me little one.

i'm not even thin, lmfao, theyre just all so fat,

thats sad. But in a sick way,it makes me happy. Lol
I feel so superior bringing my lunch from home (usually fruit or salad)
and watching the other girls eat milkshakes, and double cheese burgers lol.

This one girl, like every single shift i have with her, shes always like "Wow! you eat so healthy, I wish i could do that." then she orders a milkshake, fries and a burger.
EVERY. SINGLE. SHIFT.

seriously? You wish you could do this? Put down the mafuckin' fork then. Lmfao.
Sorry.. I know its rude but seriously. I hate people who complain they are overweight yet eat SHIT and drink milkshakes.

You think I don't get tempted by burgers, or that I would LOVE a milkshake?
Honestly. ahah.

ps. pilates is great.
:)

have a great day girls. :)

half banana fo' breaky
veggies for lunch, with 1 tsp ranch.

xx0 take care

IM BACK

So i cant remember if i posted why I wouldnt be on.. but , it was because I was trying to recover, trying to eat 1200 cals a day, of healthy stuff, plus working out.

now let me tell you ..

not good. I always felt fat as fuck, and kept purging.

So now i decided I am going to go back to 500 cals a day, thats it.
oh, and the pilates is CRAZY good, god, do i feel the burn from that. Also got a reebok bootcamp dvd. Equally as effective.

anwyays, ill keep you posted.

hales

ugh

gave up on atkins diet.
sounds too good to be true & also had a major carb binge.

fuckk.
on the plus side im going to join pilates .

Atkins diet?

So i decided i am going to do the atkins diet. Its actually sounding really good,
because basically you just dont eat over 20g or carbs a ay. For the first phase anyways, which is 2 weeks or longer if desired..
Anyways apparently you can lose like 20 lbs in the 2 weeks. I think since I'm only 135 it might be less, but I'll seee.
I just want to try it out.
SO if my posts lesson, i am sorry!
Anyways today was day o1. Ive had 1 egg and 1 egg white, with 1 1/4 inch of cheese melted into it, kind of an omellette if you may..
And for lunch (you have to eat 3 meals a day)
I will be having green salad w/ 4 oz of chicken breast.
At work I will have a grilled chicken sandwich, no bun.

I'll keep you posted on this diet. lol.

hales

My Photo/Caption of the day

First off , glitch! I still cant comment! Lol. But thanks for the comment on my blog :). I enjoy your large collection of those things.. I forget what they are called..
Here is a photo



My toes! I looove painting nails. Im not allowed to wear nail polish at my new job though, so I have been painting my toes, which is more fun since I like to be more experimental with them, ;). I want to go to school to be an esthetician & also nails/waxing/piercing.

Valentines day

THANKS Glitch & Nikki! Ps. Glitch, I read your blog, its not letting me comment! But I like the idea you have ! I'll join in the facts thing :)

Well he ended up calling me later that night and apologized for everything, admitted I was right (damn straight!) and he said he only said he would think about breaking up because he was so frustrated with me. But its all good. And Guess what came to my doorstep today? Flowers :). He arranged to have them delivered even tho he's in a different province.

As for weight! today i consumed some watermelon, thats it sofar. I decided i am allowed fruit during the day, and after 6;30 , only veggies, because fruit has more sugar and carbs!
Also I burnt a killer mix cd today and I started dancing for cardio purposes, I was doing some kickstyle air boxing and running on spot, and just a big mix of things. I also would hop on my elliptical for some songs, and do crunches / squats in bursts.

I think that will be more effective than just elliptical for 30 mins? What do you think?

xx. stay strong my friends :)

I think we broke up

I think we broke up.
Well. When he called me this morning I asked to talk, and I explained how lately he makes me feel kind of neglected and unimportant (and i had PLENTY of reasons to back this up it was not in my head!) and yeah, i was crying and i said " If youre going to break up with me then just do it, dont drag it out" and he said "Ill let you know tonight" !! Like wtf! So I was like "wow, you actually have to think about it? that pretty much answers the question" and i hung up on him.
no call back.
nothing.

im not calling him. he didnt even care about how he's been making me feel, he just got all defensive and rude! If you cared about me you would say youre sorry !! even if you didnt intend for me to feel this way you could say sorry you didnt know i would take it that way. but no. you got angry and defensive and didnt give a fuck how i felt.

fuck men. breaking up the day before vday. Oh & i hope he feels like a complete piece of shit when he gets his surprise valentines day present from me in the mail.

pissed off. i have no appetite though. but my backs killing me so i didnt work out.
i only ate 190 cals tho,

hales

Stay Strong

Well work was good, I have 3 shifts this week but my boss said I will be getting fulltime as soon as im trained..so.. yes! ahah

Today I ate a bowl of kellogs cereal, with 1/2 cup milk for breakfast.
then my parents ordered chinese food..
I had 6 dry ribs!! EW I don't know how much is in that!
And a bowl of wonton soup (but i didnt eat the wontons just the veg&broth)

Anyways I felt so gross after the dry ribs that i puked them up.
and probably some of the wonton in there aswell..

I really want to stay on track.
I really dont want to gain back the 5 i just lost.

Time to work out.

hales <3

lost 5 pounds!

I lost 5 pounds in 6 days. Damn straight! :D.
So now i am 135. I want to lose atleast 10 more by March 17th. I think thats MORE than doable.

yay! :D.
Start work today also. And I also made an extra 20 bucks by helping my dad out with some crap .. Life is good.

Oh and my boyfriends mom is nuts.
I really hope shes not playing mind games with zach to try and get him to break up with me..

Whatever though! My life does not depend on another person! If he broke up with me I would simply continue to thrive and leave him with the words that he should remember he did it, and that he'll never find someone like me again.

lifes good. Im excited to save $ and move to MB !

hales

What do you think?

So, today i ate :
1 medium cafe mocha no toppings, black. from tim hortons. 170 cal.
5 strawberries, something like 35 cals.
ceasar salad & 1 slice garlic bread. I got it in a restaurant, i asked for "easy on the dressing" , so Im going to go by what I think the calculations would be 360 ish? I really dont know. I didn't eat it all anyways.
The garlic bread will be around 145 cals.
710 cals. :(
So kind of a big day of eating :(

I feel so bad! what do you think? Should i worry? Also Im not working out tonight because we didnt get home from after dinner until a little while ago, and im exhausted! But i do start work tommorow at four, and i plan on working out when im home from that..

I dunno, I feel gross.

Feeling MUCH better today

Well me and zach talked, i think were going to be fine.
I just hate being so far away.
and he's forsure not moving here now because his mom and her boyfriend split, and shes really in bad health and he needs to be near her to help with the house.. He said he's looking at apartments in the city. Which is kind of good, because I totally respect and did not expect him to leave his mother. So I am going to work for 3 months or so here, save all the $ i can, then move back to MB! And we will get a place in the city.
It doesn't really affect the fact that I want to go to school because they have the same school in the city anyways, Marvel.

So yes! things are looking up! OH and I lost 3 pounds! :D
so im 137.

hales xx

where'd you go..

were not gunna make it.
this isn't going to last.
the gap is widening..
the phone calls lessen
the conversation pauses
we arent gunna make it

PRETTY GIRL SWAG

Welll, last night I worked out pretty hard. Did an hour on the elliptical, then 200 crunches. 3 different kinds. I have yet to work out today but I definitely will be..
Sofar comsumed, 4 strawberries, some watermelon. 2 triscuts.

i forget the cal amount, its really low though, I keep track on this diet website now.
It even posts my estimated daily weightloss day by day depending on what i have ate, and the excersize i punched in that i did. I kind of am inlove with it.

today my friend ashley told me "not that you were fat before (yes i was/am) but wow! You look GREAT! You look like you've lost a ton of weight"

fuck yeah! first compliment. :) Still got a lot more to go though. I want to be 120 ish by march 17th. it's doable. I am strong, confident, and controlled.
My ultimate goal weight is 105. Maybe a flat 100.

I still have to eat dinner tonight but I know what we are having and ive worked all the cals & fat and carbs. I should be eating around 250. and its very low in fat and carbs.

excellent.

Hope your day is going great.

hales.

Im not being cold, im just watching you pretend..

So, I tried to help her. We had this huge talk and she said she would take my advice, I helped her realize that you can't lose 100 pounds in a month. but you will lose it over time if you eat healthy EVERY day and excersize at least 3 times a week for 30 minutes.

So what does she order when we go out for lunch today.

A large chocolate milk, gulps that down before we order, gets a bottomless pop has about 4 glasses of that.

and then orders this wrap, which im sure to the blind eye would sound healthy but in actuality it was full of TACO CHIPS, cheese, mayo, bacon.. that thing is nearly 1000 cals! And fries. Which she got bottomless option. and she refilled.

I didnt say anything.
Lol.
Whatever! I had a salad. I looked on the website ahead of time and the one i had is 357 cals. :).

lemon water.

Anywho time to work out, see you guys!

ps. got 2 lace tank tops! a grey and a white one.

What would you pair them with?

hales.

Hmm.

Well tomorrow I won't be updating. (Like you care? haha)
My cousin is coming over for the night. Well she's coming at 8 in the morning!
So it will be an all day event.
Shes really overweight and has been feeling really badly about herself.
I'm going to try and lift her spirits and help her get on a good mindset & perhaps eating plan.

I love her. We've been gas & match since the beginning of my life!

So I will teach her some things, not how to starve yourself. Not restriction. I would never help someone get this disease.

But I will teach her how to make SMART choices! I will tell her the significance it will make if she just switches to mostly veg & fruits diet. with lean meats only.

I will encourage her to workout 3 times a week, in her home gym,
I will be her support.

cheers ladies :)

I came a long way, man.

Sooo today was good, went to the mall for like 3 hours! Which is like 720 cals burned walking at the pace i walk. :D. I bought 2 pairs of shoes, nikes/adidas. and an adidas track jacket too! woohoo! also got zach a bunch of valentines stuff, plus im going to bake him cookies, and then im mailing it tomorrow !
but yeah i had 318 cals sofar today. i'll probably have some fruit later. :)


hales <3

These girls fall like dominoes.

Ugh! Dog keeps chewing my cords. God damn! Anyways, sofar , so good. Have been working out everyday, and ive mostly only been eating fruit & veg. my only exception was a baked chicken breast , which is good for you anyways, because its protien and pretty low in fat, and protien builds muscle :).

Its weird to eat healthy, and not feel bad.

but i guess i'm still not really eating that much. lol
still under 800 cals a day EASILY,

meh. atleast theyre all healthy cals.
it feels like a lot of food.
today i had a banana and 5 peanuts.

I still have to have supper but ive been really good with just only eating the healthy okay foods that my dads girlfriend eats. and if they make something unacceptable then I'll just tell them i'll look after myself.

so thats how things have been.

;)

Ticker

Created at Matthews Calorie Counter - Free Calorie Counter

to much bread in mah mofuckin basket!

WELL.
today is good. I woke up. Kind of worked out. But I decided I will just work out later.
and i WILL do it. I felt great yesterday after working out.

So far I have had 5 strawberries and some watermelon.
Feels good to eat good foods.
Im liking sticking to fruits & veg.

and Yeah! Good luck everyone else! :)

I decided

I decided to go off the ABC diet today.
The low amount of cals, actually made me just eat MORE at night and binge!
So I have a new plan of action.
In the morning, I will have fruit, or a fruit smoothie.

then not eat all day (that usually fills me up anyways).
and then if my parents make a healthy dinner i eat a SMALL portion. I always eat in my room soo its easy to throw the extra i take to make it look normal out.

Thats the plan. Just be healthy.
Unlimited fruits and veggies allowed.

I'm off to work out. :)

ps. - got a job today!

Fuck!

So change in plans. Never went to my cousins. Did good till about 5 pm, then I ate , purged. Then I ate, purged again. Then I ate, purged again. and then i ate. and now i didn't purge so now i need to go purge.. fuck..

im so mad at myself.

Edit** I purged aha, thank god.

she want me to give her my all, im talkin 1 night, no feelin's involed.

SO. 200 calorie day today! Sofar nothing consumed, I might have 50 cal's worth of grapefruit or strawberries, but i'm not sure yet because I'm going to sleep at my cousins tonight. So she might want to eat, so if I don't eat now, I can calculate and be safe there...

on the plus side! I get to use her home GYM! in the morning.

Awh yea! And it's jersey shore night!

good day today.

hales:)

i cheated

I cheated today. I ate about 120 cals more than I was supposed to have.
BUT
It was a 100 cal day, so i'm not going to freak out too much, that still makes my calorie intake 220, which is still a low cal amount. It's not like I went crazy and had a huggge binger or anything. Although when i ate the extra 120 cals it to me, was a binge. I had 2 peices of chocolate. >.< lol. 120 cals . Geeez!

But heck, Id rather fill that craving then ignore it for like 3 days and then have a HUGE binger eating everything in the kitchen!

What do you think? Bad? I still feel bad.

hales

ABCDE. Day 05.

SO. Day 5 of ABC, Also known as letter E. 100 cals.

I have had 5 triscuts. 90 cals if you eat 10. Think i will eat the other 5 sometime today . and then I could have cucumbers later or something because half a cup of cucumbers sliced is 8 cals.

Good luck to everyone else.
No tanning today.
I got all dressed up to sit around my house.
and I still have the flu :(

hales<3

GOD DAMNIT!

GraceyJ! It didn't control my night, but it did control me today. Well somewhat...

My friend wanted to go to Red Robin to eat. So I orded a grilled Salmon burger, no bun, no sauce. It came with fries and wrapped in as shitton of lettuce. I ate mostly lettuce and then 3/4 of the salmon, which is around 250 cals. SO that was perfect because day 3 of ABC your allowed 300. I didn't touch the fries.. I hid the unfinished salmon under some veggies .

But later that night! I had 2 freakin pogo's!! 393 cals altogether. Purging was not an option. So then today I figured , well day 4 is 400 cals. So I'm fasting today.

Except I had a donut and a peice of bread with butter. But I puked them up immediatly after. But still. I just hate not having control. I had to come home because moe & jasmine wanted to go out to eat, and i straight up said to them, im not eating today because of those pogos. Got some backlash but really I DONT CARE. i'm almost 20! I don't have to eat if you don't want me too. But I got sick of hearing about what they wanted to eat and them making comments like "oh right youre not eating today".

I don't expect people to understand. But Oh well... If I have to sacrifice a social life to lose weight. Then consider me a hermit.


hales.