I believe that life is a prize, but to live doesn't mean youre alive..

Ugh. So today I am just not in a good mood.
I'm so so sad. I keep doubting weather Zach is actually going to move here..
and he didn't call me tonight ? .. So I couldn't even be straight forward and say "If you're not going to come, tell me, because I'd rather get my heart broken now, then wait for you and get excited.."
Ugh.
Didn't go anywhere today. Didn't do my hair. Didn't do my makeup.
ate a kellogs bar, 90 cals. Then I ate dinner, rice & steak chunks in tomato sauce ..
I puked it all up.
Then I ate a peice of carrot cake, a brownie, and a cookie.
Then I puked all that up.
and Now im done for the night..
I just feel so depressed..
I was smelling his shirt he left for me before he left, cause he sprayed it, and I started tearing..
It's seriously just such a hard situation.. and he doesn't even seem phased that he's probably not coming until MARCH . Or after.
How did it go from beginning of February, to Maybe sometime after march!
I understand he has a job but legally he should be able to put his 2 weeks in and go!
and I asked him well, when's your last schedualed shift, he was like "I dont know"
And then I was like "well doesn't noreen (his boss) have the schedule made up on your fridge?? " and he's like "well yeah but thats onyl upto march."

Like what the fuck am I supposed to think of this..

hales